Imagine a baby is brought into a lecture hall where a great spiritual master is teaching. If the baby starts fussing, will the master calm him with the power of her presence? Maybe, but if she's truly a great master, she will silence herself for the baby.
There's no greater spiritual teacher than a baby. We must bow in reverence to any baby we see, including the baby who still lives in us!
All this time, you've been trying to discipline yourself so you can become gentle and wise. There's a grownup inside you who's been goading the baby inside you to grow up. Imagine your surprise when you learn that your inner baby is your true Self, the one you've been searching for!
No competent, professional grownups are enlightened. It's not that the enlightened aren't professionals. They are, but they're professional babies.
Enlightenment is about innocence. Everyone is called to infinite love and joy, but you can't get there with your self-image intact. In this sense, the gate is narrow. It would, in fact, be harder to pull a camel through a needle's eye than to pull you into heaven with your self-image.
I understand - you just want to be responsible, competent and good. It doesn't seem like you're asking for much, but these qualities imply their opposites. When you live like this, you spend your life outrunning your imperfections. Not so fast!
Just let yourself be as innocent as a baby, and you'll know that heaven is already here.